through time.....

Recently being back home I am just losing it.
Lots on my mind.
I just hate being alone.
nothing to do with friends everyone is either at BYU, USU or SNOW to far.
miss being in the college atmosphere...but signing up for a institute class will help.
love hearing about friends at college and happy for them. but then wish I was there with them.
not even a best friend  to talk to or go on a walk.( but grateful for technology)
i walked our family dog Lily for thirty mintues just her and me.
tears drops.
walks in the dark.
wind blows. just me and my new best friend-dog.
hates face-book. time. and just eats me up.
parents went to movie.
brother and sister at  friends.
all my family gone. just me and my dog. weird. very weird. very very weird.
jealous i have none...but then again happy for her and the enjoyment of high school and how happy and excited she is. She is my role model and I look up to her in so many ways. I love her and glad that family will always be with me.
need a night time job. still looking in progress.
not ready for my teaching job. quiet nervous and scared don't know what to expect.
maybe i should go into a clothing store job. don't know just going through a weird phase.
I thank my sister for letting me watch Christopher she recently watched him during the summer and since she is at school I have taken her place. He is adorable and I always know that my sister comes first in babysitting and then I will come second. Plus even though christoper is little I know he choose my sister first then me, because well she is amaizn. the end ;)
It has helped me alot, keeps me busy and he is very entertaining.
I have a lot I should be grateful for and need to snap out of all the things on my mind and tearing my self apart at the moment. I think it is just that phase that I don't have a job to keep me busy and feel like I am a bum...probably because  my job starts Tuesday can't wait tell i get back in the working mode. I never thought I would say that but having a job. earning money is fun;)
signing up for an institute class can't wait also. love learning about this gospel and each lesson helps me to become a better person and not to think of myself.
I am in a new chapter of my life..and it will get better through time.....